Recovered Seinfeld Scripts

These 2 scripts were discovered by a male janitor at NBC when he was cleaning up the set for the last time.

Here they are for your enjoyment - Cawd.

Seinfeld #181

 

THE FINAL REVELATION

By Jerry Seinfeld

 

SCENE 1: Opening

Jerry, Elaine, and George walking home from the movies late at night.

 

JERRY: Good God! That movie sucked. Nothing happened made sense. Were those two guys the same people, or-

 

GEORGE: I told you, that guy was imagining his life as the other guy!

 

ELAINE: But what was the point of the thing at the end… with the car?

 

GEORGE: (yelling) IT WAS HIM BEING ELECTROCUTED, weren't you PAYING ATTENTION?

 

JERRY: Alright calm down Erbert. Sheesh, I need a cup of coffee. (Notices shiny object in alley) Hey guys, what is that?

 

Camera cuts to chrome, pyramid shaped spike, partly concealed by some moss, a nail and a little piece of glass. Cuts to group standing around it, confounded by its shine

 

ELAINE: Hang on,lemme get a look at it

 

GEORGE: (urgently) HOLD UP! Don’t TOUCH IT!

 

ELAINE: Why? It’s just a piece of garbage.

 

The color pallette turns to prison concrete gray, and there is jarring metal music (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sq3eLdixvCc). George suplexes Elaine and karate chops the intervening Jerry. He performs several other cartoonish wrestling moves on the helpless pair.

 

GEORGE: (barely audible through his chaos) IT IS MORE THAN THAT! LOOK AROUND YOU, WHAT DO YOU SEE? YOU SEE PEOPLE CRUSHED BY FEAR. AND LONELINESS. LOOK FURTHER, INTO THE STARS, WHAT IS THERE? NOTHING! NOT EVEN A MEASLY ORGANELLE! THE UNIVERSE WAS NOT MEANT FOR US! WE ARE SIMPLY A GLITCH IN THE UNIVERSAL CODE, A RUNOFF STREAM FROM THE RIVER OF CONSCIOUSNESS. BUT EVERY ONCE IT A WHILE, FOR A MOMENT, THE LIGHT OF GRACE SHINES IN OUR POLLUTED, PITIFUL PLANET. IT’S THESE LITTLE BEAUTIFUL MOMENTS ELAINE. DON’T YOU SEE. THIS IS THE ONE THING THEY’LL NEVER TAKE AWAY FROM US. AND I’LL BE DAMNED, IF-

 

The camera returns to its normal setting, revealing what just happened to be nothing more than George’s imagination.

 

ELAINE picks up the pyramid, disturbing the destined composition, and winds up to throw the pyramid in the sewer.

 

GEORGE: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

GEORGE pushes ELAINE to the ground, knocking the pyramid across the road, GEORGE attempts to drop an elbow, but JERRY jumps into action and pushes him away in midair. GEORGE rolls into the road, recovers the pyramid, and scrambles away down the street, fading into the night. BASS THEME DROPS

 

Scene 2: Jerry’s Apartment

Jerry and Elaine are pacing around the living room, discussing last night’s incident

 

JERRY: I can’t believe George would do something like that! I’ve known him since the 4th grade and he’s always been a doormat, then you come a long and mess up his whole “river of consciousness” and he just goes insane!

 

ELAINE: I know. And the weird thing is, he’s more afraid of me than anyone!

 

A deep tone sounds, the door seemingly opens itself, revealing Kramer and Newman dressed in religious getup, chanting a mystical verse

 

KRAMER AND NEWMAN, TOGETHER: Scio enim, scio, Juxta crucem tenebrae: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

Jerry: Don’t mind if I interrupt your ceremony but what, the heck is this?

KRAMER: It’s my new cult: the adorers of the river

 

NEWMAN: It came to me in a vision last night, I dreamt I was on that field trip, just like back in the old day at school remember? The one to the amusement park?

 

JERRY: Yes, I remember, you peed your pants on the ferris wheel

 

NEWMAN is angered, but gets on with his story

 

NEWMAN: I was remembering the joy of youth, and in it I could feel pain. But then I saw it. The face in the sun. Its light was pouring through the sky, like a river, and as it came it swept away every kid who ever made fun of me! I woke up happier than I’ve been in years. I told Kramer, and he told me he had a very similar dream.

 

KRAMER: It is true I, I uh, oh. Ohhh

 

KRAMER touches his temples with his fingertips

 

KRAMER: I sense something, it's something beyond sense… I can just feel it, oh no OH GOD NO

 

JERRY: What is it

 

KRAMER: You’re the chosen one Jerry, it’s you

 

JERRY: Alright, I-

 

KRAMER: NO, IT’S TRUE, THERE IS ANOTHER I-

 

JERRY: (directs them to the door) Alright, see you later, lay off the nyquil fellas

 

KRAMER: I sense a dark energy Jerry!

 

KRAMER and NEWMAN exit

 

Enter GEORGE

 

GEORGE: (nervously) Hey Jerry… Is Elaine here?

 

JERRY: She’s right here

ELAINE: Yeah

 

JERRY: So

 

GEORGE: OK, You know I’m in trouble, and I know I’m in trouble. BUt I’ve built too much to give it all away. I ask of you, please find it in your heart to forgive me!

 

ELAINE: Lemme tell you something you son of a-

 

JERRY: Alright calm down, this is a very emotional time, I suggest we all calm down before we make any rash decisions

 

GEORGE: Ok… call me later?

JERRY: Sure

 

GEORGE:See ya

 

Exit GEORGE

 

ELAINE: Jerry, you gotta tell this guy off, he practically tried to kill me!

 

JERRY: B-But he’s been my friend for so long! All these years…

 

MUSIC: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AIlz08fZos

 

JERRY has a flashback to all the moments he has had with his friend GEORGE.

 

YEARS AGO: JERRY stands awkwardly at a house party. The camera pans to GEORGE talking with a girl, and motioning towards JERRY. The girl then approaches JERRY, and strikes up a conversation. JERRY smiles at GEORGE, and gives him a thumbs up.

 

JERRY is doing his act at a shady comedy club. The crowd is cold and motionless except for GEORGE who is laughing hysterically.

 

JERRY and GEORGE are walking down a street late at night, when a mugger pulls a knife. GEORGE holds up his hands, and in a reassuring manner, reaches toward his wallet. He then unholsters a pistol and point it at the mugger. The Mugger screams and runs away crying.

FLASHBACK ENDS

 

ELAINE: Jerry! You have to tell him off!

 

JERRY: ……………………………………………ALRIGHT!

 

SCENE 3: The Hallway Ghost

 

GEORGE is walking down the hallways of JERRY’S apartment building.

 

GEORGE: (to himself, in his mind) What if they leave you George, we can’t be alone again, I won’t be able to handle it!

 

GEORGE pushes the button to open the elevator

 

GEORGE: (to himself, in his mind) You need to learn to conceal the anger! Next thing you know we’ll be in-

 

The elevator door opens to reveal a tall, dark figure. Roaring sound effect. Scary bass theme drops https://youtu.be/UwziUpJDbVM?t=3m12s. He is not human. He has a flat, hexagonal face, his face is striped with red. His body is an isometric trapezoid. His arms are two sticks, painted black. He has two horns, which are sticks pulled from birch trees. He charges at GEORGE.

 

GEORGE: AAAAAHHH! SAVE ME JERRY

 

GEORGE is chased by THE GHOST down the darkened hallway. GEORGE turns a corner, and sees THE GHOST seemingly impossibly. GEORGE, facing certain death, jumps into the garbage chute, falling safely into a dumpster. GEORGE sees THE GHOST silhouetted by the sunset on top of JERRY’S building. THE GHOST scans the area for GEORGE. Sensing nothing, he turns and shuffles away.

 

SCENE 4: Kramer’s Apartment

 

BASS INTRO. KRAMER, NEWMAN, and JERRY sit on the floor of KRAMER’S apartment. They are wearing robes and fezs. They are lit only by candlelight.

 

KRAMER: Crucis umbra fluminis, In dubiis non est lumen electi.

 

NEWMAN pulls out a box of ring-dings from beneath his cloak and offers it with both hands.

 

KRAMER: consumere, consumunt!

 

JERRY gives a confused look.

 

NEWMAN: Now eat it.

 

JERRY: this is ridiculous.

 

Music stops, lights turn on

 

JERRY: I don’t want to be in your cult anymore! The ring dings and the twinkies, what’s next, chips ahoy communion? I’m out of here.

 

Exit JERRY. NEWMAN, disappointed, begins consuming ring-dings.

 

KRAMER: We have to find a way to get new members. We need a marketing strategy.

 

NEWMAN: A billboard?

 

KRAMER: no, too tall, could fall down

 

NEWMAN:Graffiti?

 

KRAMER: No, the vandalism would turn people off. We need to find some way that is non threatening.

 

NEWMAN: Like a rally?

 

KRAMER: wait a second… NEWMAN YOU’RE A GENIUS! We’ll have a rally in Central Park!

 

Montage begins. Music cues https://youtu.be/C25L4P79wY8?t=1m3s. NEWMAN uses his job as a mailman to send out flyers without paying. KRAMER orates from a book to a gathering crowd of homeless people. KRAMER points to the sky. KRAMER and NEWMAN laugh behind a veil of fire. The camera fades to the pyramid sitting on George’s coffee table.

 

SCENE 5: George’s Apartment

GEORGE is sitting on his couch, clenching a pillow to his chest. The phone is next to him. He is looking at the pyramid.

 

GEORGE: (muttering sickly) Jerry...Jerry please…

 

The phone rings, George picks it up

 

JERRY: Hey George

 

GEORGE: Yes Jerry? Have you decided yet?

 

JERRY: Uh yeah about that, we talked, and we decided that we are not your friends anymore

 

GEORGE: (crying) OH MY GOD! NOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Laugh Track

 

JERRY: It’s nothing personal, just don’t come around my apartment anymore. Ok! See ya. Oh yeah guess not.

 

GEORGE: (through sobs) NOOOOO

 

The phone clicks, Jerry has hung up.

 

GEORGE: I feel so cold… very cold!

 

GEORGE collapses of the floor. Scary bass theme drops. THE GHOST appears again. THE GHOST walks over and looks down on the collapsed GEORGE. THE GHOST melts into a fluid and runs on the floor. The fluid crawls up GEORGE’S skin and enters his skull through his mouth, eyes, ears and nose. GEORGE stirs, and opens his eyes.

 

SCENE 6: The Coffee Shop

 

BASS INTRO. JERRY and ELAINE are sitting on the same side of the booth. They hold pencils and papers covered in notes. They are auditioning a new friend to take GEORGE’S place.

 

ELAINE: Next audition please

 

JACKIE CHILES approaches the table and sits down.

 

JERRY: So Jackie, how long have you known Kramer for?

 

JACKIE: I’ve been his attorney for seven years.

 

ELAINE: How comfortable are you with disclosing your personal relationships.

 

JACKIE: I’ve got none. No woman ever love Jackie Chiles.

 

JERRY: How big is your apartment?

 

JACKIE: I ain’t got no apartment. Kramer and his ridiculous lawsuits has drained Jackie Chiles of all his money. Jackie Chiles swears revenge!

 

ELAINE: That’s enough from you, NEXT

 

JERRY: This is stupid. Why don’t we just forgive George?

 

ELAINE: I can’t forgive him Jerry. This is a no-forgive situation.

 

JERRY: Alright. You going to Kramer’s rally tomorrow?

 

ELAINE: Nah, I’m done with cults. Those Branch Davidians wore me out.

 

GEORGE enters the coffee shop. He looks angrily in their direction, then turns to sit on the other side of the coffee shop. A waitress approaches him.

 

JERRY: Look at George, he looks so strange. Why is he looking at the waitress like that?

 

ELAINE: I don’t care. Hey you wanna see a movie tonight?

 

JERRY: Which one?

 

ELAINE: The one George took us to. I’ve been thinkin about it ever since. I have a theory, they were twins the whole time! Separated at birth, Jerry.

 

JERRY: Fascinating. I’m going

 

Exit JERRY

 

SCENE 7: George’s Turn

George sits in his pitch black apartment, lit only by the light of the pyramid. There is a full moon the window. George looks out his window. He sees the moon and below it the gathering crowds in the park. They are there for KRAMER’S rally. In the middle of the crowd, there is a great structure. It resembles the pyramid.

 

GEORGE: Kramer… the river… the river of consciousness! KRAMER!!!

 

GEORGE grabs the pyramid, puts it in his coat pocket. He runs out the door and down the hallway. As he turns the corner, THE GHOST can be seen briefly in GEORGE’S door frame.

 

SCENE 8: KRAMER’S TURN

 

JERRY sits in his apartment, watching the news.

 

ANCHOR: Breaking news coming out of Central Park, there is a crowd gathering for the “Adorers Of The River” Rally. They claim to forsee the end of the world

 

ANCHOR 2: Well we’ll have to see about that Jim

 

JERRY: Kramer!

 

Suddenly, Jerry’s door is busted down by KRAMER, NEWMAN, and a group of Adorers.

 

JERRY: Kramer I just saw you on TV!

 

KRAMER: Jerry, you have to come with us.

 

JERRY: Why, what do you mean?

 

NEWMAN: Jerry, you are the chosen one.

 

KRAMER: He’s right. I sense a dark energy around you Jerry. I even feel it right now!

 

GEORGE’S voice is heard from the street.

 

GEORGE: JERRY!

 

JERRY: GEORGE!

GEORGE: You gotta listen to me Jerry. It ends tonight! It all comes down.

 

JERRY’S voice is muffled as he is taken away by the adorers.

 

SCENE 9: Taken

 

ELAINE enters JERRY’S apartment.

 

ELAINE: Hey Jerry, your buzzer was broken or something so Fred and Renee had to let me in. Jerry?

 

ELAINE looks around in confusion. Something catches her eye and she gasps in terror. She picks up her purse and runs out the door. The camera pans to reveal a flyer on the floor, depicting the pyramid.

 

SCENE 10: Chase

 

GEORGE is in taxi that is chasing KRAMER’S armored truck, which holds JERRY.

 

GEORGE: There he is, punch it!

 

TAXI DRIVER: I can’t there’s too much traffic.

 

GEORGE: (screaming) you have too!

 

TAXI DRIVER: Hey man calm down, why you sweating so damn much?

 

GEORGE: It’s hot in here!

 

In the KRAMER truck, JERRY is being held at swordpoint by the Adorers.

 

JERRY: Y’know this is the last thing I do for you. No more sodas, no more mangos, you are officially banned from my place. You hear the L. Ron? BANNED!

 

KRAMER: You have dark energy, big daddy!

 

The KRAMER truck has lost the taxi, and is now minutes away from central park.

 

GEORGE: Where is he? Where is the truck!

 

TAXI DRIVER: I lost him.

 

GEORGE: oh my god, dear god no. oh no oh no no.

 

TAXI DRIVER: Do you want me to turn on the AC or something? You’re sweating rivers!

 

GEORGE wipes the sweat off his forehead, and looks at his hand. His fingers slowly turn to flame, and then consume his entire arm. The KRAMER truck smashes through the gates and into Central Park. GEORGE is kicked out of the taxi and runs, on fire, into an alley. The truck backs into the stage and the back doors open.

 

SCENE 11: Final Darkness

 

ELAINE is running into the park where KRAMER’S rally is taking place. JERRY is on stage with KRAMER and NEWMAN. They are lit in spotlights before the great pyramid.

 

KRAMER: (to crowd) ADORERS, THE CHOSEN ONE HAS ARRIVED FROM THE RIVER.

 

CROWD: (cheers)

 

MAN IN CROWD: Let him speak!

 

KRAMER obliges, and steps aside, giving the microphone to JERRY.

 

JERRY: (sarcastic tone) What’s the deal with cults? I’ve always wanted to be in one. School kind of prepared for it. Y’know the uniforms, the followers and leaders, and all the people there not one of thems making money. Amiright!

 

CROWD: (boos)

 

JERRY: Oh come on, lighten up a bit, will ya!

 

Camera cuts to GEORGE running through the alley’s on fire. The pyramid pulses with light.

 

KRAMER: Jerry, your making the pyramid angry!

 

Light from the pyramid pillars into the sky, touching the gathering clouds.

 

MAN IN CROWD: You suck!

 

ELAINE: JERRY! What get down from there.

 

The moon touches the apex of the pyramid. An apparition of green light floats out of it.

 

JERRY: What the hell is that

 

The apparition swims around the crowd, causing silence and awe.

 

KRAMER: Adorers, he is here! The spirit of the chosen one. Tell us chosen one, have we been saved?

 

The camera slowly zooms into the apex of the pyramid.

 

SCENE 12: George Gate

 

The camera shows rivers of green smoke. The smoke clears, revealing a tree covered mountain. mountain. A deer and her fawn sip water from a stream. George is seen hiking the easy mountain trail with a boy, presumably his son.

 

SON: Dad, when is the top?

 

George points to the treeline of the mountain.

 

GEORGE: See that spot up there, where the trees stop and fade away? When the trees are all gone, we’ll know, we will have reached the top.

The pair hike toward the top. The camera quickly shows a dead deer with its skin rotted black and its face covered in red blood (resembling the ghost). George helps his son climb up the last rock. They have reached the summit. The camera cuts back to reality, showing GEORGE’S body succumbed to the fire. His entire being burns to ash and is blown away in the wind. Everything burns away with the exception of the chrome pyramid. One last shot of George and his son looking into the sunrise. FADE TO BLACK. Bass theme quitely plays.

Seinfeld #182

 

THE WHITE TILES RUN RED NOW

 

By Jerry Seinfeld

 

SCENE ONE: THE SENTINEL

 

Elaine sits next to a mostly bald ferret looking man before a pile of papers.

 

CLARKE: (reading from manuscript, entitled ‘After the Next Day’) Maybe it is something more, maybe it's an artifact left behind from another dimensions,that only some people can perceive,

 

Elaine rolls her eyes in frustration

 

CLARKE: Y’know Elaine, I promised myself I’d never fall for an editor again

 

Elaine looks to the sky, knowing what is to come

 

SCENE TWO: THE COFFEE SHOP

 

Jerry and Elaine are sitting at the coffee shop. Elaine looks upset because her presentation at her job resulted in complete failure

 

ELAINE: Ugh, Jerry you should have seen it, I just hate this guy at work! I was practically in tears.

 

JERRY: What’s the deal

 

ELAINE: I’m working on a time travel story with John Clarke, y’know he’s the son of the guy that wrote 2001.

 

JERRY: Ah, 2001.

 

Kramer enters and sits down next to Jerry.

 

ELAINE: The story’s about a girl who uses an time machine to find “true love” or some hippie crap like that.

 

JERRY: And you don’t like this man, I take it

 

ELAINE: He is SO, STUPID, it looks like it was written by a 15 year old doofus.

 

KRAMER: You know what you should have done?

 

ELAINE: What?

 

JERRY: Oh no

 

ELAINE: No, what is it?

 

KRAMER: You should have gone through the bathroom gate

 

Jerry hides his face in his hands

 

ELAINE: Kramer, what the hell are you talking about?

 

KRAMER: See, in the early 1960’s there was this TV show that would air on local public access called the Bathroom Gate. When the main character was in trouble he would go to the bathroom, even though he didn’t really have to go!

 

ELAINE: Kramer, I don’t have time for this garbage.

 

KRAMER: No listen, by going to the bathroom even though you don’t have to go, you create a rift in the sequence of events set in motion by the big bang, thus creating an alternate universe.

 

ELAINE: And how does that relate to my presentation?

 

KRAMER: Well, if you faked going to the bathroom during your presentation, you might have created an alternate universe where it was good. Watch this.

 

Kramer runs frantically across the Coffee shop into the bathroom, the camera quickly fades to black and then fades back in. Kramer exits the bathroom looking exactly the same.

 

Exit Elaine

 

KRAMER: Hey Jerry, y’know that comedy club you’re always complaining about

JERRY: Yeah, the one on the East Side?

 

KRAMER: Yes, it’s always filthy and the patrons acting like miscreants

 

JERRY: Last time I did a set there it was so sticky I couldn’t get the mic out of the stand!

 

KRAMER: Well… I bought it

 

JERRY: Like, you bought bought it?

 

KRAMER: Yep. We’re in business buddy!

 

JERRY: What are you gonna do with a comedy club?

 

KRAMER: Next month, I going to open up my own club: SUPER JERRY WORLD.

 

SCENE 3: GEORGE AND JERRY

 

Jerry is relaxing on his couch when George bursts in, holding a large cardboard box.

GEORGE: I’m busting Jerry, I’m busting!

 

JERRY: (excited) Why, what happened!

 

GEORGE: I am in the digital age now, Jerry, this is 2001 stuff! I am in the digital age now!

 

George reaches into the box and pulls out a computer

 

JERRY: plug it in

 

GEORGE: mind if I keep it here for a few days?

 

JERRY: Sure I don’t mind

 

GEORGE: In this puny frame of plastic lies more computing power than what sent the astronauts to the moon

 

The monitor lights up, the login screen appears

 

GEORGE: Oh no, I have a date at 6, I gotta shower

 

JERRY: Ok, see ya

 

GEORGE: Oh and Jerry…

 

JERRY: What

 

GEORGE: Don’t do anything dirty with the computer, alright

 

JERRY: What would I be doing with the computer

 

GEORGE: (sigh) Oh Jerry, you really are in your own little zone  huh, the very foundation of our culture is about to change. The internet will allow the worst people to be heard across every continent, spreading their garbage, spreading their perversion. I guarantee, in the next 10 years, people are going to be calling for the destruction of our Constitution, they’re going to hate God, and call him not real. And honest people, people like me and you, are going to be the first to suffer. In vertigo we will be, Jerry. I CAN FEEL IT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

SCENE 4: THE BATHROOM GATE

 

Elaine and Clarke are again sat at the table pouring over the manuscript.

 

CLARKE: (begins screaming and crying) BHB BUBUBBB

 

ELAINE: (In her mind) ah what the hell

 

ELAINE: Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom

 

Elaine enters the bathroom, camera fades to black. Camera fades back in.

 

Elaine exits the bathroom and sees Kramer sitting where Clarke once sat.

 

ELAINE: Kramer? What are you doing here?

 

KRAMER: You tell me sister

 

ELAINE: Well- I just went to the bathroom

 

KRAMER: You just had to go and monkey around huh? You couldn’t keep it in!

 

ELAINE: Where’s Clarke?

 

KRAMER: He’s not here, nobody is here.

 

SCENE 5: JERRY’S APARTMENT

 

Jerry and George are hanging out in Jerry’s Apartment

 

JERRY: How did your date go?

 

GEORGE: It’s strange, I showed up at the restaurant, and she wasn’t there! I mean who does that? Is she insane?

 

JERRY: Well it is you.

 

Elaine enters, looking very ugly and stupid

 

JERRY: yama hama

 

ELAINE: Shut up

 

JERRY: What the hell happened to you?

 

ELAINE: I don’t know. I went through the bathroom gate and my world is like a fever dream

 

JERRY: You went through the bathroom gate?

 

ELAINE: Uh huh

 

JERRY: Elaine, you know Kramer is insane? Going to the bathroom does not create-

 

Jerry freezes as if the TV is broken, George walks toward the camera. The camera turns around to face where the studio audience should be, only to view a black void. The camera keeps turning to where George, Jerry, and Elaine should be to reveal Jerry’s empty apartment.

 

Bass theme drops

 

SCENE 6: SCENE 4.5

 

This scene begins mere milliseconds after the end of scene 4

 

ELAINE: What do you mean?

 

KRAMER: Elaine, when you walked into that bathroom, you changed the direction of all reality. Atoms that have followed a very specific trajectory since the big bang. Now we are in the alternate universe you created.

 

SCENE 7: SUPER JERRY WORLD

 

George and Jerry are riding in a cab

 

JERRY: I worry about you and your computer, I think you use it too much.

 

GEORGE: What else am I going to do with my time. There is nothing there for me.

 

JERRY: So you’re going to become a hermit, like Peter the Hermit?

 

GEORGE: Yes. YES! I’m going to become completely submerged. After all, who is to say reality is out here. The reality on that screen is no different. Out here I am portly, balding, fool, but online I can be anything. I can be Will Smith. I can be 7 feet tall. I CAN BE A GOD, JERRY!

 

JERRY: I never understood what God was thinking when he made Antarctica, an entire continent with nothing going on down there?

 

GEORGE: Yeah, whatever

 

JERRY: Hey there’s Elaine. ELAINE!

 

The ‘Elaine’ and turns out to be not the real Elaine.

 

JERRY: Oh that’s weird, she’ll probably be at the coffee shop, she said she’d be there at 6

 

GEORGE: One day you’ll be able to transfer food over the internet, Jerry. You’ll just open your mouth and they’ll stick it in!

 

JERRY: Yeah, that’s the future I want to live in, a pimple covered teenager working at dominoes sticking a slice in my mouth through a dusty computer screen.

 

GEORGE: What the hell is that?

 

The camera cuts to a white, out of place building with a banner featuring Jerry Seinfeld’s face and the bold words SUPER JERRY WORLD.

 

JERRY: I changed my mind, stop right here!

 

The cab pulls over and the two exit the cab. Kramer bursts through the front door and slides across the sidewalk.

 

KRAMER: We’ve done it buddy. The economy is BOOMING!

 

JERRY: Kramer you made Super Jerry World!

 

KRAMER: Giddy up buddy, c’mon inside, it's warm and we have plenty, uh, refreshments

 

They enter Super Jerry World. The room is lit from flood lights built into the floor. The walls are white, with portraits of Jerry Seinfeld decorating the walls. There are no tables, no seats, just an empty floor and a stage concealed by a white curtain.

 

JERRY: What’s with the white? It’s like an asylum in here.

 

KRAMER: It’s all the ‘Seinfeld Aesthetic’ my man

 

GEORGE: Where are all the seats

 

KRAMER: The way I see it when Jerry walks in, they’re on their feet anyway

 

JERRY: When do you set up shop?

 

KRAMER: the 25th

 

JERRY: Nice

 

KRAMER: We booked Richard Pryor

 

JERRY: You opened a comedy club called Super Jerry World and you’re first show you got Richard Pryor?

 

KRAMER: Jerry, we’re friends, but I have to put people in the seats!

 

JERRY: THERE ARE NO SEATS!

 

Newman bursts through a saloon door, holding up 2 curtains, one ghost white and one red

 

NEWMAN: Kramer, which type of velvet would you- oh- Hello Jerry

 

JERRY: Hello Newman

 

NEWMAN: Can you believe this Jerry! Me and Kramer! We’re gonna be millionaires!

JERRY: That’s beautiful news